Apple unveils iPod for dogs
Hot on the heels of the iPad 2’s release in the UK, Apple has announced a spinoff of its portable music players, made exclusively for dogs – the iPawd.
From today, Apple shops everywhere will have the devices in stock and will be preparing themselves for wave upon wave of desperate dog owners wanting to get their hands on it.
The iPawd is similar in appearance to the iPod Shuffle, making it small enough to clip onto any dog collar, and comes with a specially adapted pair of iconic white Apple headphones. Music is uploaded to the device via iTunes in the same way as you would for your regular iPod – you can either purchase songs from the iTunes store, or rip from your own collection of CDs. The latest version of the software includes an option to convert your music to a format specifically designed for your pet – a special 50,000Hz MP3. This is beyond the range of human hearing, but well below the upper threshold for a dog. This means that a dog owner would not hear anything whilst their pet could enjoy the post-pop stylings of Lady Gaga, or some soothing industrial grindcore.
In the last decade, the technology giant has gone from strength to strength after re-inventing the way we listen to music on the go. The company turned its attention to the smartphone and video recorder markets with the iPhone and Apple TV, before changing the way in which we interact with computers by unveiling the original iPad just over a year ago. However, this new direction has left many industry commentators nonplussed.
Speaking from his bunker at Apple’s headquarters at 1 Infinite Loop, California, head honcho Steve Jobs explained his decision to tap into the market for pets. He said:
“Over the past ten years, I’ve realised that I can put any old toot on the shelves of my shops, and chumps the world over will queue in their thousands to get their hands on it.
“After seeing countless burnt-out socialites and drug-addled heiresses buying diamond collars for their Chihuahuas, I realised that the pet market was a potentially lucrative sector – one that was ripe for personal music devices.”
“Once I stopped laughing, I set my minions to designing it.”
Jobs has even persuaded ex-Beatle Sir Paul McCartney to re-record some of his greatest hits especially for dogs. After burying the hatchet after the mop-top’s strop over the use on the name ‘Apple’, McCartney announced new versions of ‘Twist and Bark’, ‘Live and Let Lick’, ‘Lucy in the Park with Tennis Balls’ and ‘Magical Mystery Paw’.
Canny dog owners may want to wait for the iPawed 2, which is already rumoured to be slated for a Christmas release later this year. Among the features believed to be included in the new iPawed 2 is a special port in which you can store poop bags!
April Fools!