Martha Stewart brained by bulldog head-butt

martha_stewart_russell_croweUS media personality, business magnate and one-time jailbird Martha Stewart has been hospitalised after being head-butted by her dog.

Stewart, 69, needed nearly ten stitches to her top lip after her pet French bulldog, Francesca, administered a textbook smack in the mouth.

The TV presenter said that she leant over to her dog to “whisper goodbye” to it while it was sleeping. She recounted on her blog:

“I was rushing to New York at 9 o’clock at night leaving my home and my little dogs were all a little upset with me — they had been lonely — and it was dark in the kitchen and they were asleep and I wanted to say goodbye to the them.”

“I must have startled her, because she bolted upright with such force that she hit me in the face like a boxing glove hitting an opponent’s face.”

“’I was entirely startled and my neck snapped back. I felt a bit of whiplash as blood gushed forth from my split lip.”

Stewart made it to hospital, where doctors patched her up and sent her on her way.

She is best known for her lifestyle TV shows where she offers advice on cooking and decorating your home, and did a stint of porridge after lying to investigators about a sale of shares.

Ever critical of all things domestic, she had a pop at the hospital’s décor, writing:

“The ceiling border in the little patient room could use some updating.”

We at Dream Dogs think that if her surgeon had known what she was thinking, he may have given her more than nine stiches in an effort to keep her quiet.